I’m not entirely sure if this answers the question you’re asking, but it’s what came to my mind when reading it:
I had a moment during an ayahuaska ceremony (mind you, this was like my 10th ceremony in 5 weeks…) – a moment where I suddenly understood how to manipulate space and time. But I couldn’t stop giggling because at the moment I had that realization, I also realized that I didn’t actually *want* to change anything. Mostly because my human monkey brains doesn’t have enough computational power to truly consider all of the potential consequences of such actions, and also because most of reality is actually pretty fucking awesome.
Because reality is so infinitely complex and interwoven that to change one thing would change everything. So I had to accept all of reality together, good and bad. Because we’re all co-creating it together. Our inner relationships with ourselves reflect the outer relationships around us (how many times a day to I call myself an ‘asshole’ in my inner monologue…).
Therefore, the most important thing I could ever do is my own physical and spiritual healing. All living organism actively create the environment around them… humans especially. So if I’m actively working on being as healthy and whole as possible, then I’m also actively working on helping my physical environment be as happy and whole as possible too, which includes my relationships, food sources, and place as a member of the ecosystem.
I truly believe that Kali is dancing her dance of cosmic destruction right now. She’s dancing and sometimes when I close my eyes all I see is fire and death, everywhere.
On the other hand, we are also co-creating, birthing, midwifing the new world all together right now. We create that new world by healing ourselves and working to create healthy and nourishing environments for ourselves.