I have writer’s block. Sort of. Most people think of writer’s block as not having anything to write about. In my case, I have so much to write about that I hardly know where to start.
When I’m in the flow, when I’m writing at a clip and making posts regularly, one idea logically flows to the next and the posts and essays flow forth. But I haven’t written much for nearly two months. Been consumed with making my silly website and working on building my idea of an art business.
I’m backed-up. The old ideas that I want to work on get all mashed-up with the new ideas clamoring and shoving through to get out. I’ve come to realize that I desperately need to write in order to be sane. Not just to write; putting it in my notebook is not enough. Those are just notes, sketches, outlines of idea. I need to flesh them out, complete the art projects, make them presentable. I need other people to read what I write. Just like a painter needs other people to look at their paintings.
This is not a new problem. I always have this problem. Constantly. It ebbs and flows. But right now it is particularly bad, again. I’m in the habit of not writing. I’m in the habit of blaming everything possible thing in my life that I can blame to put my art last. And now I’m learning to that only thing that has ever really stood in the way between me and my art was myself. So now I am doing the painstaking work of getting out of my own way. I get out of my own way by learning new habits. New ways of taking care of myself. New ways of creating structure for myself.
Writing is a habit. Like yoga. Like meditation. A practice. Writing is my spiritual practice.
But oh, I’m never so productive as when I’m procrastinating… And I am an epic procrastinator. In the beginning of November, I jumped on the bandwagon with a bunch of friends to participate in National Novel Writing Month. The challenge is to write some absurd amount, 1667 words per day, to get to 50,000 words in 31 days. That’s a serious time commitment. That’s a couple hours a day. Holy heck, what if I spend a couple hours writing every day?!?!?! That would be SO MUCH WRITING! That challenge just went
But in the process of procrastinating all that writing, I’ve accomplished so many things! Which is wonderful and horrible at the same time. Let’s see, I’ve accomplished making business cards, creating and passing out flyers for a Family Portrait special, I’ve done sewing projects, I’ve cleaned and torn apart my room again, I’ve… bla. I’ve done graphic design jobs.
Tomorrow I am going to sell stuff! Sell hats! Sell hats at two different little markets, and take photographs, and pass out SO MANY FAMILY PORTRAIT FLYERS. SO MANY… gotta print more flyers…